Dott.ssa Veronica Pacella
Speak Your Truth - the series

Conversation with: Murielle Marie

Murielle Marie is a successful woman. She was born and raised in Belgium and she affirmed herself in the business field, a business world that was inspiring and fulfilling, but that also brought out her high-achieving, perfectionist and self-controlling personality traits (not always a good thing). But then something changed. What did she realize? Let’s discover it with her!

Hi Murielle, it’s a pleasure to have you here. Would you like to talk a bit about your story?

Thank you Veronica. And yes of course. I come from humble beginnings, my parents didn’t have much when I was growing up. And it’s fair to say I had a rough childhood. My father was an alcoholic and life at home wasn’t pleasant most of the time. Growing up I believed I had to achieve success, to make up for the love I had not been given when I was young and to finally be worthy.
Things really started changing for me when I came out of university. And I have to say that very quickly things were going well for me. I started my first company and have been an entrepreneur ever since.

What kind of business did you have? Was the life you were living fulfilling for you?

Right out of University I started working as a freelance project manager for a media company. In the next couple of years, I transitioned from solopreneur to small web agency. Through that company I have done many things and worked on many projects for other companies too. That corporate environment was very masculine and required me to be always on, emotionsless, and solely focused on work. I never had a female role models in my life and I had a strong and dominant father. In the corporate world it was a continuation of the same: men were leading the way and as a woman I though I had to be really tough to make it. At first I didn’t know anything else. Without female role models I wasn’t in tune at all with my feminine side. And through my experiences as a child I had learn to shut of my emotion easily. So I didn’t know what love really was, let alone self-love. I thought that everyone was always stressed and that, especially as a woman, it was our duty and destiny to care for everyone around us and to exhaust myself at a totally unfulfilling full-time job at the same time. Without ever complaining. I didn’t realize there was another way and that I wasn’t taking good care of myself. So for as long as I wasn’t aware I was stressed out, frustrated, sometimes depressed.

What lead you to your first big breakthrough?

Because of what I had been through growing up, I had become a high-achieving perfectionist, that needed to be in control all the time, in the hope of one day be worthy love. To be honest, I was miserable. I was difficult with the people around me, I was hard on myself but certainly also on others. I simply wasn’t fun or loving. Every day was a struggle. But then, 5 years ago, both my parents suddenly passed away 5 weeks from each other. As a result I went through an intense journey of change and self-actualization, down a very spiritual path.
When my parents died, that endless pursuit for my father’s approval and love ended. After a lot of soul-searching I realized I didn’t love myself and that in fact I was miserable in a life that wasn’t for me. The 5 years that followed, I took a deep and good look at myself and I learned to really love myself. This change was so profound that I wanted to pass all I had learned, felt and experienced to other women like me. And that’s why I decided to become a life coach.

How did you feel during your daily life in your soul-searching? What inspired you to go ahead?

While I was soul-seraching I felt like I was on the biggest and longest roller-coaster I had ever been on. What actually happened when my parents passed away was that I realised there was no love left to fight for, only my own. Of course, this wasn’t a clear and instant realization, it was long and sometimes painful process, but that is the conclusion I eventually made. My daily life during my soul-searching was intense. I questioned everything and everyone, especially myself. I wanted to find out who I really was, when there was no external pressure left to be somebody else. Some periods were sad, some were healing, others were great moments of joy and learing. Overall what kept me going was the knowledge that I nedded to do this to finally be happy. I couldn’t go back to where I had been before the journey started, so there was no other option for me but to keep going.

How do you feel now? What does the new Murielle do now?

I can honestly say that I feel wonderful. Every morning when I wake up, I feel blessed for all the things that I have and for being who I am. I am still an entrepreneur, but my focus has shifted. In my companies, I do business differently, much more from the heart. My main focus no is not ego-driven anymore. What I want is to serve and help others, and I do that by listening, being aware of what goes on around me.
As a life coach I have made it my mission to help women to learn to love themselves more. It’s wonderful and rewarding work, that is totally aligned with who I am as a person and what I stand for as a woman.

Thank You Murielle!

You can find Murielle on:

Interview by Simona Pace

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